Smitha Iyanna [Renaa Muthappa’s mother (Class of 2025)]
The day I became a new mom stands out in my memory as clearly as if it happened yesterday. Seventeen years ago, when I heard the protesting cry of my newborn baby, the thing that struck me most was the fact that she stopped crying when she heard my voice. It was incredible to me how attuned to me she was even as a baby – like she was an extension of my very soul. And I am left wondering where the time has gone. How is it already 17 years? So, many milestones, first birthday, and first day of school, all gone by in the blink of an eye to find myself standing here at this point in time, adrift.
Since Renaa began her journey with MUCWI, my emotions have run the gamut from joy, pride, adoration, sorrow and loneliness. Although not having her be my constant companion has been hard, I have gained immense delight from seeing her personality evolve and grow over the course of the past ten months. The learning experiences she has acquired, such as the ‘Experience India Week’ and ‘Project Week’ etc., have given her boundless opportunities to make new friends, develop her confidence, and teach her to juggle her independence with academic achievements. I am incredibly grateful that she has embarked on this journey and this has made it easier for me to overcome the challenges of being an empty Nester. Don’t get me wrong. I still worry incessantly if she is eating healthy, getting enough exercise, if she has her priorities and goals straight, if she is getting enough sleep, and if she is developing the habit of going to bed too late and staying in bed too long!! It has been a process to let go, to trust her judgment, and to allow her the freedom to make choices.
Taking a step back has been incredibly hard. Going from being involved in the day-to-day activities of my only child to watching from the sidelines has taken strength and restraint. But I read somewhere that, “A mother’s job is to teach her children not to need her anymore. The hardest part of that job is accepting success ” – Truer words could not have been spoken. Knowing that Renaa is flourishing within the safe confines of MUWCI provides solace.
Once I accepted that the rollercoaster of emotions that I was feeling was normal and to be expected from those going through the empty nest phase, I was able to refocus and reevaluate this new change in circumstances. I overcame the challenges that I was facing by returning to my work with renewed rigour. I have always been an active person and filled up the extra time on my hands with running, going on long walks, hiking, and volunteering my time helping young adults. Technology has been a boon in that it has allowed me to stay in touch with my teen regularly across continents. It has helped lighten up my mood by sending and receiving funny reels on Instagram. It has allowed me to capture beautiful sunsets, which to be honest I didn’t have time for before. And, I have come to the realisation that although my role as a mother has undergone some changes, it will never end and Renaa will forever be an extension of my soul.
